VOUS REVOIR

My mom said,
"He has forgotten you."
My dad said,
"You mean nothing to him."
My bro said,
"He used you for pleasure."
My sis said,
"He's mean, a fraud, a cheat."

And in my dreams I shouted out,
"I don't care of all your silly words."
When I was in my dreams
In my land of El Dorado,
When I was imagining spring in my life,
It was then that every one around
Had to talk all evil, all nuisance.

My brain knew well
That you were a dead past.
But my heart kept contradicting
My soul kept questioning
Of the legitimacy of your death.
I couldn't focus on why
'e' was equal to 'm' and 'c' squared.

The conscious 'me' knew, that
I had forgotten you.
The practical 'me' knew that.
However the illogical 'me'
The stupid, idiotic and stubborn 'me'
Refused to give in.

Viragoes all around kept repeating,
"He has forgotten you"
"He has trashed you down."
Misbegottens of all sorts gathered around
Pulling me deep into the sea of distress
When all I wanted was gaiety
And some peace of mind.

No bullets, but tears are all
I have for the emotive embrasure.
But my lacrimal glands seem
to have been choked
As tears no more roll down my cheeks...
Even when I need them the most. 

Somebody's Mother

So serene she sits
Her face wrinkled,
Her shoulders stooping down
With the burden of age.
She might be sixty
Or she might be ninety.
The world least cares, and so does she.

So serene she sits,
Her face on the rims of the broken window
A pair of glasses on her nose
Tied to her ears with a worn out string.
Her vision, blurred with senility
Mistakes my mother to be me.

So serene she sits,
Giving not a damn to the world around
Patiently waiting for someone, none know who!
Not a single teeth remain in her gums
But she greets each one of the passers- by
With a voice too inaudible
And actions quite feeble.

So serene she sits,
With never an expression of gloom
People say, her son abandoned her
Of which she has no memories.
Thus she never cries, never blames
But keeps laughing with her toothless face
At every other thing she encounters.

So serene she sits
Underneath the tree shadowing her tattered hut,
At times strolling in the unkempt lawn,
Bending her aged stature
On the stick that is twice aged.
It doesn't betray her
As does the world
...The world that forgets
That she had been a mother...
Somebody's mother. 

Seen Somewhere

"I had seen you somewhere."
That was the thing you said
When you met me in the streets of the city
The day before.

The day before- you had met me
And couldn't just guess who I am!
Even after looking into my eyes,
The eyes of a so-called 'stranger'
For a bit too long
You didn't realize who I am,
For we have left those days far behind.

Long behind have we left
Those cute smileys and cheesy messages.
We have, rather, you have
Forgotten those moments of umpteen joy
When we got to the last bench,
To escape the teachers' suspicious glares
And sat there hand in hand, eye on eye.
Yes, you have left those days far behind.

You have forgotten my cheeks in your hand,
Whilst I lovingly cleaned your coffee- smudged moustache:
And you in the mean time
Kept reassuring that you would never abandon me,
Never leave me alone to face the world.
And now you have left those days far behind.

Trust me, I do not curse you
Neither do I blame you for this.
Might be I am the greatest misanthrope,
The greatest pessimist ever on the planet
So as being unable to start anew.

And thus, I am glad
At the least it occurred to you
That you had seen me somewhere.

FAILURE

Never knew it would be this hard
To forget you,
To throw you out of my life.

I felt I would trash you
Just like that paper I threw off:
But, even after time rushed forth
You are still agile in my thoughts.

Even after years,
Its you I remember
When I am suffering hard.

I felt I would burn your thoughts,
Swelter them in the heat of my heart.
Our Chemistry teacher had once said,
"Burning is irreversible".

Then why is it that you are regaining form,
In my heart and my soul
With the passage of every single moment.

Life has become unbearable
And your memories- a terrible black hole!
Where once I peep into,
Its impossible to merely get out.

The NASA still needs to work hard
To find one more of this sort.
To find one more that is capable enough
Of relentlessly pulling all gaiety into itself
And turning the world so fearfully dark.

I do not understand
What still makes me cry so late?
I am unable to make out,
Why, still on the 30th
I sit in my room, with a cake before me
When you are nowhere in vicinity?

I truly regret
When I realize that I failed,
Failed for the first time,
To make my brain sense
...And my heart feel,
That I don't need you in my life.

Idiocy

Its your face that comes to my mind
Every time I open my books,
Caesar, Gandhi, Napoleon- on the pages, get blurred
With your smiles and your damned looks.
Is this what they call 'idiocy'?

Its your number that I dial
Every time I have to call a friend,
The contacts open, giving me a choice;
But, I can never my heart- amend.
Is this what they call 'idiocy'?

Its you I keep mailing
In spite of knowing you won't reply,
My inbox is stuffed with failure notes
But I care them least, I know not why!
Is this what they call 'idiocy'?

I miscalculate simple things
While solving sums at eight,
Algebra, Trigonometry get mixed
And its you who controls me overnight.
Is this what they call 'idiocy'?

I wait for my parents to be deep asleep
Finally taking out thy note,
And read, and read, and blissfully read
Your hand- written three worded quote.
Is this what they call 'idiocy'?

Then at midnight
When my phone blinks bright,
I am sure its you on the other side.
You, who once again steals my heart
With missed calls and a sweet good night.
Yeah, must be this is what they call 'idiocy'.

THE PAPER

The paper I tore off just now,
The paper that can never be joined again,
That piece of paper
Was all I had in my heart.
That piece of paper
- I know nothing of what was in it
But, I had played with it last night,
Till I went off to sleep.

The paper I threw into the bin,
The paper that I felt was worth sweltering,
That piece of paper
Was all that left me crying.
That piece of paper
- I know not why it had stolen my dreams
But, it had made me cry last night,
Till I went off to sleep.

The paper I had preserved for long,
The paper that I am missing every moment,
That piece of paper
Was all that had stolen my heart.
That piece of paper
- I don't give a damn to it now
But, I agree that it was special,
Till I went off to sleep last night.

The paper that was in my heartbeats,
The paper that I had never let go off,
That piece of paper
- That makes me feel I had mistaken,
That makes me peep into the past repeatedly,
Although, it was special-
I tore it off just now.

You ask me why I did it!
Never guessed you were so insensible:
Never guessed
You were such a demonstration of imbecility
So as to ask why I did it.

Now, in case you are still confused
And still ask why I did it,
I want to get rid of you...of your thoughts
I want to throw you out of my life
I want you to be a forgotten past,
That is why I did it:
That is why I tore off the paper.
Are you answered my
(I don't care whosoever you are)?

Hope

The earth is celebrating
And the nature is cherishing-
The arrival of the spring
Once more,
With all its colours, flavours and essences.

But God knows why
Amidst all this gaiety
Its only tears that are showing itself?
Why is it that I am speechless?
God knows why,
I can do nothing
But just wait and watch
What time has to offer!

God knows why,
I am missing like hell,
Those,
Yawns in the History classes;
Those,
Mass bunking in fear of the teachers;
Those,
Standing outside in the weekly craft class.
Those,
Saying what not to the teachers-
God knows why
I am missing 'em today!

God knows how
Time rolled on so fast,
Making me leave behind the sweetest of days
Just to be remembered
At times, when I am idle.
God knows why
The dreary black boards
And the boring white chalks,
Are beckoning me today.

God knows why
Those little pranks,
Those fun-filled recesses,
Those secret love letters,
Those breaking the line
To stand by you during the practicals,
Are things that make me turn back.

Those,
Kicking the one behind
On being unable to answer in a test;
Those,
Being scolded by the teacher
On scoring a 'D' grade
Are no more nightmares,
But just memories today.

The memories stored in the lumber room
Of the heart and of the mind,
The memories that wait to be caressed
By my stupid tears,
Arouse the blurred hope
That our paths will cross again in future. 

Parting

As the clock ticked its way,
From twelve to twelve,
I wished the day would never end:
So as to stop the next day's arrival.
Because, I didn't want our parting to be so soon.

I cursed the mechanic,
For creating something with zero error;
I cursed the calendar,
For being so true.
It was just because,
I didn't want our parting to be so soon.

As the dawn rolled to show the afternoon sun
As I basked in your warmth,
Suddenly I felt the world turn dark:
As if the Director had screamed "Lights off!"
And felt your hand leaving mine.
I pinched myself hard,
And felt it was no dream:
I badly wished it had been so,
Merely because, I didn't want our parting to be so soon.

I felt the earth turning loose,
I sensed the world going blurred,
I saw the colours fading away,
When I heard the clock ticking its way.
Only because, I didn't want our parting to be so soon.

I asked your pals,
If you were feeling my way:
They noisily went away saying,
You were preparing for the farewell play!
"I won't let you go"
Was the thing, I damn wanted to say.

But the clock ticked its way,
From twelve to twelve,
I wished it would have been a dream,
I wished the calendar would have proven itself wrong;
I wished the mechanic had erred somewhere;
I wished you would never leave me,
Just because
I didn't want our parting to be so soon!

ADIEU

One more, on my friend's request:

Why go away,
When minutes of separation torment you?

Why laugh to impress me,
When I am always tuned to you?

Why ignore me consciously,
When it is actually impossible?

Why leave me alone to face the world,
When you know I am helpless?

Why puzzle me with your stupid ideas,
When I am already confused?

Why prepare to say something,
When you are not a good orator?

Why try to feel my heart,
When you make a mess in philosophy?

Why come my way repeatedly,
When I badly want to say 'Adieu'.
 

To You...For You...

I know nothing of what you seek;
Seeking, must be some of the greatest nonsense,
Nonsense of all sorts, prevail in your heart-
Heart that never cries, never feels.
Feels, but dares not express...
Express itself amidst the bustling crowd:
Crowd that pays no heed to you and me,
Me? I know not how I resist looking at you-
At your dark, deep eyes!
Eyes that are always busy,
Busy searching something, God knows what??!!!
What goes on in your mind is an enigma-
An enigma unsolved, unanswered.
Unanswered are the questions I put before you:
You and your pals, mock and jest,
Jest at my emotions;
Emotions that seek answers-
Answers to questions.
Questions that remain unasked, unrevealed.
Unrevealed are the reasons behind your sly grins:
Grins that have stolen my heart.
Heart that is still yours.
Yours is this soul, this mind, and everything that's in it.

Vous

When I see you,
Experimenting your strength on a childhood friend of mine;
A gush of anger rushes down my spine.
When the latter comes and complains,
Requesting me to teach you a lesson:
Without giving a second thought,
I move to your place.

However, as I face you,
God knows why, nothing but a strange liking,
An amazing forgiveness overpowers my soul.
Our eyes meet,
I behold yours, and et le vôtre mine;
They exchange glances,
Which are worth a thousand words!

We speak not a single word,
But try to turn around and move,
But our eyes refuse to let the other pair go.
It is just the jest of a friend,
That unlocks our eyes.


I feel safe and protected,
With you by my side,
With you warmth along me,
With your eyes on mine,
And altogether,
With your presence by me.

ONE LAST TIME

The end of school yesterday,
Felt like the end of a lifetime.
I had promised you,
I wouldn't cry...
So, I held my tears back.

I found the strongest boy of the class- in tears;
He pushed me away,
So as not to express himself!
I tried to chill him,
Tried hell lot to be positive,
Tried to tell him-
The farewell was not yet over!!!

A few of the girls-
Exploded as tear bombs,
That didn't matter much though!
It was strangely funny,
But I couldn't laugh.

Amidst the crowd,
It was your face I was searching-
My gaze intent,
Longing to meet you one LAST time.

My pals pulled me to your car,
I refused, but was glad,
They had felt my heart!!!
I deadly wished you to be there.

I found others around your car...
Your damned Fiat Punto,
Friends who hugged me tight,
Emptying all their affection into my heart.
I was heartbroken...I didn't find you.

I remembered how you were in a habit,
Of tormenting me day and night...
I was having reminiscences,
When I don't know how many of them,
Hugged me, pulled my cheeks and said what not!!!

It mattered least to me,

Amidst the crowd,
It was again your face I was searching-
Longing to meet you one LAST time.

Then my bus honked,
And the driver brought out his angry face...
The kids began screaming,
As it was quite late.
I had waited a bit too long for you,
I had been a bit too late to realize,
That you wouldn't come...
That you wouldn't come to me,
ONE LAST TIME.

KI? KENO? KIBHABE?

Nitantoi bhoy peye giyechilam, pratham din tomake dekhe.Kalo kalo khoncha khoncha chul, kalo hat-pa-mukh, ar tar majhe du pati jhokjhoke dant.Sottii gaye kanta diye uthechilo train-e tomar pasher seat-tay boshe. Soddo college-e porte shuru korechilam ami, eka jaoa-asha tokhono obhbhesh hoyni. Bokar moto mohilader kamray na uthe, uthe porlam ekta sadharon kamray.Bhir-thelathelir modhdhei tomar ek bondhu uthe dariye amay boshte dilo.Sei chilo pratham din.Tarpor dhire dhire tomar songe gore uthlo amar ek nibir somporko, ek atiba ghanistha bandhutta...Sottii ki ta bondhutto chilo???Jai hok, takhan college-er senior chelerao tomar bhoye kanta hoye thakto.Sobai janto, ebang mone-prane bishshash-o korto je deep-er ekta ghushi mane nirghat hospital-er bed.Jakhan sobai tomake dekhe tatastha, takhanhothat ekdin chokhe pore gelo tmar ek onno rup...(To be continued...)